My name is Sarah and I am 18 years old and I am going to share with you my adoption reunion story! My whole life I knew I was adopted. My first memory of my adoptive mother telling me I was adopted was when I was maybe seven years old. My adoptive mom and I were on our way to my dance class when she brought up the subject of my adoption. I remember her telling me that my birthmother loved me very much and was just too young to take care of me at the time. She also told me that my birthmother was a beautiful young girl who was very athletic and picked her because she played basketball. After the converstation about my birthmother was over, my adoptive mom asked me if i wanted to meet her and I said no.
A few years later I started middle school. My middle school years were some of the hardest and emotional years of my life. I got bullied for basically everything. Kids would bully me because of the clothes I wore, they told me I had a big forehead and called me "Five Head." They also told me I had man hands. But the thing that really made my middle school years extremely emotional was the fact that kids would bully me for being adopted. I clearly remember this one girl who I thought was my friend going around to everyone at lunch and telling them that my birthmother was a whore and a slut and didn't want me. She told everyone that my birthmother was a whore and a slut because she had me when she was a teenager, but this wasn't the only bullying towards my adoption that she did.
On my 13th birthday the girl sent me numerous texts telling me that my birthmother didn't love me or want me and that I was a waste of space. She told me that my birthmother probably had other kids to worry about and a job and a family and that I shouldn't even care or worry about her. She told me my birthmother could never love the baby she gave up for adoption thirteen years ago. She might have loved me then, but not now. I was so torn up about this that I would cry myself to sleep every night. My adoptive mom tried to comfort me but nothing would work. I became depressed and emotionally unstable. I developed anxiety and had to go to a therapist once a week. This started the search for my birthmother.
My first two years of high school I was pretty much fine. I still had bad anxiety and sometimes depression and still searched constantly online for my birthmother but I was doing a lot better. When I got to my junior year of high school my anxiety started to get really bad. I could never sit in class and without having an anxiety attack for no reason. Everything I did caused anxiety and I had no idea why. I started to fall back into my depression. I distanced myself from everyone. I started not eating, I didn't care about anything anymore.
My adoptive mother became concerned about me and brought me to my neighbor's house. My neighbor has some special talent where she can look at you and know everything about you! It's like she is reading a book. When I got to my neighbors house I sat down infront of her and she told me that the reason I was feeling so much anxiety was because I was feeling what my birthmother was feeling. I was feeling her anxiety and how much she wanted to find me and meet me. She also told me that when the palm of my right hand hurts that means she is thinking, worrying, or searching for me. I was very hesitant to believe all this but a year later when I found my birthmother I believed every single word that my neighbor had told me.
It was the night of June 17th 2012. I was just getting home from my best friends sweet 16. We had taken a party bus into New York City! It was a lot of fun! On the way home from New York a song came on that had always reminded me of my birth mother. I remember sitting there while everyone was dancing and having a good time, and just thinking about giving up and finding her later on in life. I remember wishing on 11:11 that night that I would find her someday soon. When we got back to the house my friend was having an after party. I remember sitting on her couch and waiting for the party to start. Something told me to check my email. As soon as I opened my emailed I was in shock about what I saw. Tears started flowing from my eyes immedietly and I couldn't breathe. The email was from my birthmother! apparently she was searching for me too! She found a post that I had posted awhile back and responded to it! She even left her phone number for me to call! That was the best night of my life! I stayed up the whole night texting and talking to her! we learned that we had so much in common! we instantly clicked and there hasn't been a day that has gone by since that me and her don't talk. After about two months of texting, skyping, and talking on the phone, it was time to meet!
I met my birthmother on August 3rd 2012 and that was the best day of my life. I was down in Maryland visiting colleges and we had arranged to meet. Originally we both thought that we weren't going to get to see eachother and we were both really upset and sad, but on August 3rd 2012 we were reunited! I remember being so nervous and scared! As I walked up to her appartment building I could barley breathe! It felt as if my lungs were not expanding! As I opened up the apartment complex door and looked up the stairs, there she was! It was like looking at a mirror image of myself! I had never seen anyone in person that looked like me before! As soon as I saw her a thought I was going to pass out. Tears Immedietly came to my eyes! Once I walked into the apartment and gave her the flowers and the desert we had brought her, we hugged. When we hugged it was like all my anxiety and fear and emotions and feelings that I had expierenced over the past few years left my body. I was finally at peace with myself and finally happy. When she put her arms around me I finally felt at home. We were both crying. It was the most amazing expierence of my life.
While I was at her house we didn't really talk much, we just hugged and hugged. She said all the hugs were making up for all the ones she had missed over the years. When we did talk she did tell me that she had been searching for me all my life and that she never wanted to put me up for adoption. She said she had no choice, it was for my safety because my father was involved with the wrong group of people. She also told me that she had felt anxiety at the same time I felt it, and we both believe my reason for the anxiety attacks was because at the same time I started getting my anxiety was around the same time she was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. I always felt anxiety because I knew that something was wrong. She told me that she would tell herself that she would not leave this earth without finding me first. My mother is a fighter and a very strong women and I look up to her so much. She is my role model and my inspiration. Her strongness and willingness to not give up helped her beat her ovarian cancer. I am so happy to be reunited with her and my family. After meeting her for the first time, her and I still talked every day and met up a lot, at least once a month. I am not living with her and her family and finishing high school online because of personal problems at home. My birthmother has always been supportive of everything I have decided to do in my life even if it was the stupidest idea ever. I love her so much. She is truly my inspiration. I have six brothers and sisters who I love to death and her husband is amazing. I could not be happier at where I am in my life right now.
If you are searching for your birthfamily please don't ever give up! Miracles do happen and I can prove that to you! You just have to believe!
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