Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
4th of July Post!
Happy 4th of July everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday today! Well here's an update! We recently moved from our old house to a new house! The community is so nice & you can walk everywhere & the town is so cute!
Since we moved into a new house I got to have my own room. It is so nice to have my own space & a place to go whenever I need to be alone or just want some piece and quiet! My room is awesome & looks super cool! My mother's mom & dad went out & bought me a whole room set of pink & animal prints for my graduation present and even came to the house and set up my room & decorated it for me! It was so nice of them & I could definitely feel the love.
Today, we went to the parade that was in my town & then we went to the fireworks. It was a really good night & I had a lot of fun. I have always dreamed of spending certain holidays with my birth family and now I finally can!
Here is a picture of me & my birthmother at the fireworks tonight! 
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Adoption Search Tips
So I received a question on Adoption.com today asking for tips & advice on finding searching. The poster of this question said they do not have a lot of information on their family. I did not have a lot of information on my birthmother when I was searching as well & a lot of the information was false so I can definitely help you out with this.
My advice to you, if you don't have a lot of information on your adoption or birth family Is to take all the information you have about her and post on numerous adoption search sites because believe it or not a ton of people look on those sites. You should also try to contact the hospital you were born in or adoption agency you were adopted out of. My best advice for you is to take all the information you have about her and just search the Internet & make phone calls & emails & even look in the phone book. The process is long, hard & emotional but it is totally worth it! The night that my birthmother contacted me for the first time was the night that I told myself I was ready to give up! DO NOT GIVE UP! It may get frustrating at times because you may feel like you're searching & searching & not finding anything but if you keep trying you are bound to find something! Good Luck!
UPDATE 6/26/2013
I have been getting many responses from people about "running away to be with my birthmother". People have been telling me that I am heartless & selfish but they do not know the full story. I had a lot of issues going on at home and when I turned 18 I decided to move out and try to start over. My adoptive parents knew it was coming. Unfortunately, these last couple months have not been a walk in the park for me. I've had to finish all my school work online to make sure I get my diploma from high school.
When it came time to walk in graduation my birthmother & her husband brought me to New Jersey so I could attend my graduation & walk across the stage. When I got there my birthmother started receiving texts on her phone saying how she has ruined my life & my future & that I'm not safe with her. This upset her to the point where she was shaking & it gave me so much anxiety that I felt uncomfortable attending my graduation ceremony. I was so upset because I was looking forward to walking across the stage. Later that night I went to the high school & asked to just have my diploma handed to me. My principle didn't even think twice & just handed me my diploma. I could tell he felt very bad.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
September Runaway
In September of 2012 I made desision that would change the way a lot of people looked at me. I decided to leave home and go be with my birthmother. A lot of people told me that it was a stupid idea but I beg to differ with them. If I didn't leave home for two days and take it upon myself to get on a train and get to Maryland to see my birthmother then I think that my parents would still be treating me like I am five years old. I talked one of my good friends at the time into coming with me, which was a stupid idea. I was nervous to go on public transit and be in Baltimore by myself.
After high school cheerleading practice that day I called up one of my friends from a different town and asked him to drive us to the train station. He was a little bit confused as to why I had to go to the train station in the middle of the school week but he willingly agreed to take us. On the way to the train station I kept telling myself that my parents were going to be so angry at me and would never forgive me for what I was doing. I kept wanting to tell my friend to turn the car around and to take me back home but I knew that this is what I have always wanted to do. When we got to the train station there was no turning back. We bought our train tickets and sat in McDonalds drinking strawberry milkshakes until it was time to board the train. When the train finally arrived I gave my friend that drove us a big hug and thanked him for bringing us to the train station and helping me out. Once I was on the train I had to shut off my phone so my parents couldn't track me. I felt really bad for what I was doing but it had to be done. The train ride took a few hours and the closer we got to Baltimore the more nervous I got. Once we got to Baltimore my nerves calmed down a little bit once my birthmother picked us up. We drove through the city and to my Aunt Stephanie's house where we were suppose to spend the night. I wasn't even in Baltimore for an hour and my parents were able to find out where I was and track my phone. Within minutes my phone was blowing up with text messages, calls, and facebook messages from my parents and family members. My uncle ended up tracking my phone, finding out where we were and taking me back to his house with him. I was so upset. This wasn't how I planned it to be. I was suppose to stay there and be happy, but instead the tables turned.
I spend the night at my uncles house and dropped my friend off at the train station the next day. After dropping my friend off at the train station I went to work with my uncle and then we went to get some food a Bahama Breeze. I wasn't really in the mood to eat because I was really upset and annoyed. I felt like nothing could ever go my way. Later that night we went and picked up my birthmother and all went to dinner at TGI Fridays. I didn't want this dinner to end because that would mean it was time for me to get back on the train and go home. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay there, but I was forced back home.
After we were done eating dinner we drove my birthmother back to drop her off. I got out of the car and gave her a big hug that lasted for like ten minutes. She told me that she believed everything would be okay. When it was almost time for me to go I reached in my bag and gave her a neckless I had bought for her back in July. The neckless was two connecting hearts the symboled a mother and daughter's love. She also gave me a neckless a few weeks before. It was an infinity symbol to symbolize that her love was and always will be forever. I didn't want to leave but I didn't really have much of choice. I was taken to the train station and put on the train to go home.
In September of 2012 I made desision that would change the way a lot of people looked at me. I decided to leave home and go be with my birthmother. A lot of people told me that it was a stupid idea but I beg to differ with them. If I didn't leave home for two days and take it upon myself to get on a train and get to Maryland to see my birthmother then I think that my parents would still be treating me like I am five years old. I talked one of my good friends at the time into coming with me, which was a stupid idea. I was nervous to go on public transit and be in Baltimore by myself.
After high school cheerleading practice that day I called up one of my friends from a different town and asked him to drive us to the train station. He was a little bit confused as to why I had to go to the train station in the middle of the school week but he willingly agreed to take us. On the way to the train station I kept telling myself that my parents were going to be so angry at me and would never forgive me for what I was doing. I kept wanting to tell my friend to turn the car around and to take me back home but I knew that this is what I have always wanted to do. When we got to the train station there was no turning back. We bought our train tickets and sat in McDonalds drinking strawberry milkshakes until it was time to board the train. When the train finally arrived I gave my friend that drove us a big hug and thanked him for bringing us to the train station and helping me out. Once I was on the train I had to shut off my phone so my parents couldn't track me. I felt really bad for what I was doing but it had to be done. The train ride took a few hours and the closer we got to Baltimore the more nervous I got. Once we got to Baltimore my nerves calmed down a little bit once my birthmother picked us up. We drove through the city and to my Aunt Stephanie's house where we were suppose to spend the night. I wasn't even in Baltimore for an hour and my parents were able to find out where I was and track my phone. Within minutes my phone was blowing up with text messages, calls, and facebook messages from my parents and family members. My uncle ended up tracking my phone, finding out where we were and taking me back to his house with him. I was so upset. This wasn't how I planned it to be. I was suppose to stay there and be happy, but instead the tables turned.
I spend the night at my uncles house and dropped my friend off at the train station the next day. After dropping my friend off at the train station I went to work with my uncle and then we went to get some food a Bahama Breeze. I wasn't really in the mood to eat because I was really upset and annoyed. I felt like nothing could ever go my way. Later that night we went and picked up my birthmother and all went to dinner at TGI Fridays. I didn't want this dinner to end because that would mean it was time for me to get back on the train and go home. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay there, but I was forced back home.
After we were done eating dinner we drove my birthmother back to drop her off. I got out of the car and gave her a big hug that lasted for like ten minutes. She told me that she believed everything would be okay. When it was almost time for me to go I reached in my bag and gave her a neckless I had bought for her back in July. The neckless was two connecting hearts the symboled a mother and daughter's love. She also gave me a neckless a few weeks before. It was an infinity symbol to symbolize that her love was and always will be forever. I didn't want to leave but I didn't really have much of choice. I was taken to the train station and put on the train to go home.
My Reunion Story
My Reunion Story - 5/29/2013
My name is Sarah and I am 18 years old and I am going to share with you my adoption reunion story! My whole life I knew I was adopted. My first memory of my adoptive mother telling me I was adopted was when I was maybe seven years old. My adoptive mom and I were on our way to my dance class when she brought up the subject of my adoption. I remember her telling me that my birthmother loved me very much and was just too young to take care of me at the time. She also told me that my birthmother was a beautiful young girl who was very athletic and picked her because she played basketball. After the converstation about my birthmother was over, my adoptive mom asked me if i wanted to meet her and I said no.
A few years later I started middle school. My middle school years were some of the hardest and emotional years of my life. I got bullied for basically everything. Kids would bully me because of the clothes I wore, they told me I had a big forehead and called me "Five Head." They also told me I had man hands. But the thing that really made my middle school years extremely emotional was the fact that kids would bully me for being adopted. I clearly remember this one girl who I thought was my friend going around to everyone at lunch and telling them that my birthmother was a whore and a slut and didn't want me. She told everyone that my birthmother was a whore and a slut because she had me when she was a teenager, but this wasn't the only bullying towards my adoption that she did.
On my 13th birthday the girl sent me numerous texts telling me that my birthmother didn't love me or want me and that I was a waste of space. She told me that my birthmother probably had other kids to worry about and a job and a family and that I shouldn't even care or worry about her. She told me my birthmother could never love the baby she gave up for adoption thirteen years ago. She might have loved me then, but not now. I was so torn up about this that I would cry myself to sleep every night. My adoptive mom tried to comfort me but nothing would work. I became depressed and emotionally unstable. I developed anxiety and had to go to a therapist once a week. This started the search for my birthmother.
My first two years of high school I was pretty much fine. I still had bad anxiety and sometimes depression and still searched constantly online for my birthmother but I was doing a lot better. When I got to my junior year of high school my anxiety started to get really bad. I could never sit in class and without having an anxiety attack for no reason. Everything I did caused anxiety and I had no idea why. I started to fall back into my depression. I distanced myself from everyone. I started not eating, I didn't care about anything anymore.
My adoptive mother became concerned about me and brought me to my neighbor's house. My neighbor has some special talent where she can look at you and know everything about you! It's like she is reading a book. When I got to my neighbors house I sat down infront of her and she told me that the reason I was feeling so much anxiety was because I was feeling what my birthmother was feeling. I was feeling her anxiety and how much she wanted to find me and meet me. She also told me that when the palm of my right hand hurts that means she is thinking, worrying, or searching for me. I was very hesitant to believe all this but a year later when I found my birthmother I believed every single word that my neighbor had told me.
It was the night of June 17th 2012. I was just getting home from my best friends sweet 16. We had taken a party bus into New York City! It was a lot of fun! On the way home from New York a song came on that had always reminded me of my birth mother. I remember sitting there while everyone was dancing and having a good time, and just thinking about giving up and finding her later on in life. I remember wishing on 11:11 that night that I would find her someday soon. When we got back to the house my friend was having an after party. I remember sitting on her couch and waiting for the party to start. Something told me to check my email. As soon as I opened my emailed I was in shock about what I saw. Tears started flowing from my eyes immedietly and I couldn't breathe. The email was from my birthmother! apparently she was searching for me too! She found a post that I had posted awhile back and responded to it! She even left her phone number for me to call! That was the best night of my life! I stayed up the whole night texting and talking to her! we learned that we had so much in common! we instantly clicked and there hasn't been a day that has gone by since that me and her don't talk. After about two months of texting, skyping, and talking on the phone, it was time to meet!
I met my birthmother on August 3rd 2012 and that was the best day of my life. I was down in Maryland visiting colleges and we had arranged to meet. Originally we both thought that we weren't going to get to see eachother and we were both really upset and sad, but on August 3rd 2012 we were reunited! I remember being so nervous and scared! As I walked up to her appartment building I could barley breathe! It felt as if my lungs were not expanding! As I opened up the apartment complex door and looked up the stairs, there she was! It was like looking at a mirror image of myself! I had never seen anyone in person that looked like me before! As soon as I saw her a thought I was going to pass out. Tears Immedietly came to my eyes! Once I walked into the apartment and gave her the flowers and the desert we had brought her, we hugged. When we hugged it was like all my anxiety and fear and emotions and feelings that I had expierenced over the past few years left my body. I was finally at peace with myself and finally happy. When she put her arms around me I finally felt at home. We were both crying. It was the most amazing expierence of my life.
While I was at her house we didn't really talk much, we just hugged and hugged. She said all the hugs were making up for all the ones she had missed over the years. When we did talk she did tell me that she had been searching for me all my life and that she never wanted to put me up for adoption. She said she had no choice, it was for my safety because my father was involved with the wrong group of people. She also told me that she had felt anxiety at the same time I felt it, and we both believe my reason for the anxiety attacks was because at the same time I started getting my anxiety was around the same time she was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. I always felt anxiety because I knew that something was wrong. She told me that she would tell herself that she would not leave this earth without finding me first. My mother is a fighter and a very strong women and I look up to her so much. She is my role model and my inspiration. Her strongness and willingness to not give up helped her beat her ovarian cancer. I am so happy to be reunited with her and my family. After meeting her for the first time, her and I still talked every day and met up a lot, at least once a month. I am not living with her and her family and finishing high school online because of personal problems at home. My birthmother has always been supportive of everything I have decided to do in my life even if it was the stupidest idea ever. I love her so much. She is truly my inspiration. I have six brothers and sisters who I love to death and her husband is amazing. I could not be happier at where I am in my life right now.
If you are searching for your birthfamily please don't ever give up! Miracles do happen and I can prove that to you! You just have to believe!
My name is Sarah and I am 18 years old and I am going to share with you my adoption reunion story! My whole life I knew I was adopted. My first memory of my adoptive mother telling me I was adopted was when I was maybe seven years old. My adoptive mom and I were on our way to my dance class when she brought up the subject of my adoption. I remember her telling me that my birthmother loved me very much and was just too young to take care of me at the time. She also told me that my birthmother was a beautiful young girl who was very athletic and picked her because she played basketball. After the converstation about my birthmother was over, my adoptive mom asked me if i wanted to meet her and I said no.
A few years later I started middle school. My middle school years were some of the hardest and emotional years of my life. I got bullied for basically everything. Kids would bully me because of the clothes I wore, they told me I had a big forehead and called me "Five Head." They also told me I had man hands. But the thing that really made my middle school years extremely emotional was the fact that kids would bully me for being adopted. I clearly remember this one girl who I thought was my friend going around to everyone at lunch and telling them that my birthmother was a whore and a slut and didn't want me. She told everyone that my birthmother was a whore and a slut because she had me when she was a teenager, but this wasn't the only bullying towards my adoption that she did.
On my 13th birthday the girl sent me numerous texts telling me that my birthmother didn't love me or want me and that I was a waste of space. She told me that my birthmother probably had other kids to worry about and a job and a family and that I shouldn't even care or worry about her. She told me my birthmother could never love the baby she gave up for adoption thirteen years ago. She might have loved me then, but not now. I was so torn up about this that I would cry myself to sleep every night. My adoptive mom tried to comfort me but nothing would work. I became depressed and emotionally unstable. I developed anxiety and had to go to a therapist once a week. This started the search for my birthmother.
My first two years of high school I was pretty much fine. I still had bad anxiety and sometimes depression and still searched constantly online for my birthmother but I was doing a lot better. When I got to my junior year of high school my anxiety started to get really bad. I could never sit in class and without having an anxiety attack for no reason. Everything I did caused anxiety and I had no idea why. I started to fall back into my depression. I distanced myself from everyone. I started not eating, I didn't care about anything anymore.
My adoptive mother became concerned about me and brought me to my neighbor's house. My neighbor has some special talent where she can look at you and know everything about you! It's like she is reading a book. When I got to my neighbors house I sat down infront of her and she told me that the reason I was feeling so much anxiety was because I was feeling what my birthmother was feeling. I was feeling her anxiety and how much she wanted to find me and meet me. She also told me that when the palm of my right hand hurts that means she is thinking, worrying, or searching for me. I was very hesitant to believe all this but a year later when I found my birthmother I believed every single word that my neighbor had told me.
It was the night of June 17th 2012. I was just getting home from my best friends sweet 16. We had taken a party bus into New York City! It was a lot of fun! On the way home from New York a song came on that had always reminded me of my birth mother. I remember sitting there while everyone was dancing and having a good time, and just thinking about giving up and finding her later on in life. I remember wishing on 11:11 that night that I would find her someday soon. When we got back to the house my friend was having an after party. I remember sitting on her couch and waiting for the party to start. Something told me to check my email. As soon as I opened my emailed I was in shock about what I saw. Tears started flowing from my eyes immedietly and I couldn't breathe. The email was from my birthmother! apparently she was searching for me too! She found a post that I had posted awhile back and responded to it! She even left her phone number for me to call! That was the best night of my life! I stayed up the whole night texting and talking to her! we learned that we had so much in common! we instantly clicked and there hasn't been a day that has gone by since that me and her don't talk. After about two months of texting, skyping, and talking on the phone, it was time to meet!
I met my birthmother on August 3rd 2012 and that was the best day of my life. I was down in Maryland visiting colleges and we had arranged to meet. Originally we both thought that we weren't going to get to see eachother and we were both really upset and sad, but on August 3rd 2012 we were reunited! I remember being so nervous and scared! As I walked up to her appartment building I could barley breathe! It felt as if my lungs were not expanding! As I opened up the apartment complex door and looked up the stairs, there she was! It was like looking at a mirror image of myself! I had never seen anyone in person that looked like me before! As soon as I saw her a thought I was going to pass out. Tears Immedietly came to my eyes! Once I walked into the apartment and gave her the flowers and the desert we had brought her, we hugged. When we hugged it was like all my anxiety and fear and emotions and feelings that I had expierenced over the past few years left my body. I was finally at peace with myself and finally happy. When she put her arms around me I finally felt at home. We were both crying. It was the most amazing expierence of my life.
While I was at her house we didn't really talk much, we just hugged and hugged. She said all the hugs were making up for all the ones she had missed over the years. When we did talk she did tell me that she had been searching for me all my life and that she never wanted to put me up for adoption. She said she had no choice, it was for my safety because my father was involved with the wrong group of people. She also told me that she had felt anxiety at the same time I felt it, and we both believe my reason for the anxiety attacks was because at the same time I started getting my anxiety was around the same time she was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. I always felt anxiety because I knew that something was wrong. She told me that she would tell herself that she would not leave this earth without finding me first. My mother is a fighter and a very strong women and I look up to her so much. She is my role model and my inspiration. Her strongness and willingness to not give up helped her beat her ovarian cancer. I am so happy to be reunited with her and my family. After meeting her for the first time, her and I still talked every day and met up a lot, at least once a month. I am not living with her and her family and finishing high school online because of personal problems at home. My birthmother has always been supportive of everything I have decided to do in my life even if it was the stupidest idea ever. I love her so much. She is truly my inspiration. I have six brothers and sisters who I love to death and her husband is amazing. I could not be happier at where I am in my life right now.
If you are searching for your birthfamily please don't ever give up! Miracles do happen and I can prove that to you! You just have to believe!
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